Of Asexuals and Hikikomori..

Or you can change the title to "The Transformation" or make it "Metamorphosis" which makes it closer to Madam-ma Butterfly. All this is due to the fact that my life have changed a lot ever since I moved to Windsor.

One in 100..

A recent study on sexuality found out that, ironically, that at least 1 in 100 is asexual. Being sexual was defined as (a) a person who has absolutely no interest in any sexual act, (b) a person who may be emotionally involved with a person but with no physical, i.e. sexual, attraction, and (c) a person who may masturbate once in a while but do not and will not have sexual interest with anybody.

The study was done in UK but if it holds true for Canada, at least 300,000 Canadians (eh?) would be considered asexual! Now, that is something! Imagine the implications.. well, um.. ahh.. I'm feeling it right now, hun! "What's this?-What's the matter?-What's going on?"-a la Karen Walker. Yes, I think I AM ASEXUAL, but I'm not going to say to which definition I belong. Beg as you may, but na-a-ah, I'm not going to tell you (as if it matters and as if everybody cares). I never felt this way before, when I was back home and when I was in Toronto. Not a lot of people know this, but I was very sexual before. I don't know what changed everything but it just happened.

Hikikomori..

Lately, internet suicides have gained media interest especially in Japan. Apparently, the suicides have been committed by young people who got acquainted through the internet and who have a peculiar similarity - they were all recluses who never leave their room and they were only able to find entertainment on the internet. The Japanese have a name for these people - hikikomori.

Blame it on my profession, on me not having a car, on me not being able to be out, on my present outlook in life, on my stubbornness, but I used to be really outgoing and sports maniac.

Life before was like sports-work-sports-night gigs-sleep and life now is work-netsurf-sleep. I don't have a television (let alone a couch!) which, by the way most people find amusing, I don't play any sports now, I don't go to silverscreens (I'm not a true blue Hollywood fanatic), I don't have close friends (at least in Windsor, which happens to be where I live). If I'm not working, I am on the internet. If I'm not sleeping, I am on the internet. I AM A HIKIKOMORI. Well, about 95%, I should say. On days when I'm off, I just stay at my apartment, never going out until my next working day.

..

My asexuality has transformed me into a hikikomori. Although I know that there's definitely more in the outside world than sex, being asexual has successfully lured me to a trap that I call my own little world. I just hope that I will never end up like a Japanese hikikomori - someone like Madam-ma Butterfly.